UNDERSTANDING MARRIAGE

Marriage is that covenant by which a man and a woman establish between themselves a partnership presumably for life, this relationship is by its nature ordered towards the good of the spouses and the procreation and education of the offspring. It is worth stating that sacred scripture begins with the creation of man and woman in the image and likeness of God and concludes with a vision of “the wedding feast” thus, marriage in its totality is a mystery.

Marriage is the intimate community of life and love and this cannot be overemphasized, the whole idea of two unknown individuals coming together to agree to stay under one roof for the rest of their lives is not a child’s play. It comes with both social structures and spiritual attitudes. The well-being of the individual persons is closely bound up with the healthy state of conjugal and family life.

It is the same God who created man out of love that equally calls him to love. Love your wife as you would love yourself, very strong instructions. The mutual love expected to exist between couples should in all sense be that of an image of the absolute and unfailing love with which God loves us.

We must not forget the fact that in reality, man and woman were created for one another and not one as a slave and the other as a master. They are created to complement each other and make each other fulfilled and happy. Woman is simply the flesh of the man’s flesh, his equal, his nearest in all things and given to him by God as a helpmate, they are no longer two, but one flesh.

It is true that man has sinned and fallen short of the glory of God as such, every man experiences evil around him and within himself. It is this evil if not put under control threatens the love and affection that exist between couples. Men are filled with the spirit of domination, infidelity, jealousy and internal conflicts that can escalate into hatred and separation. These threats can manifest more or less acutely and can be more or less overcome according to the circumstances of cultures, traditions and individual approach to life.

Marriage is meant to help man who is the head to overcome self-absorption, egoism, pursuit of one’s own pleasure and control mentality while opening oneself to the other, for mutual love and self-giving. This new idea and teaching that women are subjective to men and as such they must at all cost be submissive to the man is alien and not in agreement with the teachings of Jesus Christ which most of us claim to follow. At every turn we should not forget “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her.

Beating one’s wife, maltreating one’s wife or even using abusive words on one’s wife is like spitting on oneself. Self love is wanting what’s best for oneself and nothing is as sweet as that. Then imagine the joy and happiness of wanting same for another person and seeing them happy and fulfilled. Women are always babies, give them what they want and they will lick your toes. And what is it that they truly want, other than to be appreciated, recognized, pampered and loved.